08 Feb 10 My Dads story - think I will loose him soon :(

Hello

My name is Kelly,Im 31 and am happily married with 4 gorgeous children. A couple of years ago my lovely dad (now 69) started to have problems with swallowing etc so his gp sent him for tests.One test lead to another and in the end he was diagnosed with lung cancerand emphsymia.Now please forgive me as I cant remember all the medical terms for his diagnosis,long story short is that the cancer was un-operable so he has had 3 goes of chemo.

It was last May when he was diagnosed and they estimated he may have a year left.Its been one hell of a rollercoatser and I wont go into too much detail but the cancer has spread to his adreenal gland and stomach.He has not had a scan for a while and I suspect it has spread more,he has a rather large raised gland in his neck which does not look good.

We have had some serious problems with dad as he is a type 2 diabetic,along with being seriously ill after his last round of stronger chemo at xmas he has had a hypo (blood sugar too low) and also admitted with high blood sugars.With his appetite getting worse its been a battle with meds and blood sugars.

Over these past few weeks I can see him fading.He is so weak.He had a stair lift fitted last week and he was managing to move around a bit but now just sitting on the stairlift and getting up stairs is a battle. He has not eaten properly for a long time and that is getting worse and I know there is nothing we can do.My mum is calling our gp out tomorrow to discuss if we need to admit him to hospital for fluid/liquid food but I really dont know what they will be able to do ???!!!!!

He is on morphine for pain,still has most control over bowel and bladder but is on a commode downstairs and upstairs as he is too weak to get to the loo.

I dont know what to tell my eldest son,he is nearly 9 and knows his grandad is ill but not how bad.

I have lurked around reading other peoples stories on here and its broken my heart to know that people all over are suffering with loved ones too,I really need somewhere to vent and write things down.To be honest I need support and I hope I can support others along the way.

I am so sorry to waffle on but as my dad is getting weaker he is not up for chatting,I want to tell him so much but it just upsets him,shall I write a letter???

I will use this post to write down the rest of my dads battle but for now I must log off as my throat is hurting so much as I am trying to choke back tears.

Thankyou for reading

Kelly x

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